Robin Mathew is a dear friend who did his engineering with us in BATU (a government engineering college). He is a Malyali who then went on to work with Siemens Ltd in Mumbai. He later went to Italy to pursue his further studies and landed up with a job in a German company. During his PG he met Aarthi and married her, and what a lovely couple they make. Robin is extremely bad with his Hindi and equally bad with......
But you might be wondering why am I giving you all these mundane facts. The reason is - the other day Robin sent a joke on Indian Army. Yes the same beloved army who was also insulted by an imbecile youth leader just weeks back (or so are we told, as I told you about Robin's joke). For some reason I decided to pour my heart out and I would like to share what transpired then.
The following write-up is a satire, you can't really get angry with Robin. Can you?
An open letter to a Mallu Bhagoda (That's Hindi FYI - Robin). In good old days this was called brashness but now it's fashion. So here it comes (I like to keep up with times)
Dear Chuhey (Rat), do you have any shame in joking about our brave armymen in such a disgracing way. These men in uniform work indefatigably in heavy snow and harsh rains so that traitors like you can get educated on taxpayers money and run to a foreign land to make money while not giving back to the country. On the contrary you joke about the armymen and insult them. And if we put you in jail or still better - beat you in public and blacken your face and kick you out of India, I guess it will be a deserving punishment. I, the true-partiotic Indian have earned that right because I am a selfproclaimed virtuous citizen (read true citizen i.e Hindu) of this country and also because I can launch a scathing attack on you owing to my ability to write (just about anything) and evoke in others the nationalism that is much lacking in the new generation. So today I to want make others aware of your follies by exposing how people like you have been dishonest to this motherland. You, a minority Christian eat beef in my country and insult our religion. You don't eat our prashad nor celebrate our festivals while we, the tolerant countrymen, declare holidays on YOUR religious festivals and even drink your wine. We are so encompassing that we even celebrate our festivals (read Gatari) with your wine. And what do you do? Ask for minority status, elect the anti-national Communist parties in your state and fall in love with our Hindu daughters. We know that this is a conspiracy to increase YOUR population and reduce Hindus to minority but we won't let that happen. We will educate our girls about your malicious intents and propagate the all beneficial and sacred and ancient but neo ideas of our Sages written 3000 years ago. They 3000 years ago knew everything and this modern western science is all but a CHORI of the work of our ancestors. Even YOUR Jesus was a Tamilian who learned everything here in this country and took all that learning to West and became popular (this is well documented in a well researched book by a all-knowing prominent Indian, please Google it out and get educated). That it is written by OUR man is proof enough about its validity.
Lastly whatever you say in retaliation won't be valid because you are under influence of the scheming Italians and I can prove it in media court. You are a biased individual who took political favours from Pappu to help you in Italy. Also your relationship with Germans discounts any goodness on your part. But even then if you decide to oppose any of these claims and shout that you want freedom from such oppressive hegemony then we will tell you - isn't it freedom that you are still alive after you have insulted our brave soldiers?
An appeal - Friends, I strongly feel against such stupidity that we are exposed to these days and we unknowingly are made into a tool to propagate hate under the cover of knowledge, patriotism and what not. It's not wrong to have opinion or biases but it's not in favour of this country to be outright insulting to other's opinions and biases. Please don't make heroes out of people who shout at others, insult others in public and take up violence (verbally or physically). Politicians can't change this country - that onus lies with us. Let's make this country and this planet a peaceful place. Let us not be parochial and try and prove our superiority (religious, national, economical etc). Let us teach our politicians love and give them lessons on how to be world citizens. Internet has great power and as uncle Peter says - with great power comes great responsibility.
P.S. - Robin is our friend and he has only one religion - Humanity.